Here’s an interesting idea. I call it “Take Your Blog to Work Day.” What you do is you take a bunch of pictures of your workplace and put them up on your blog with a link to Asparagus Pee and very kindly credit me with the idea. Is that so much to ask? I’m using my own place as a representative sample, but what I’d really like to do is state that some day in the future like May 21st (my birthday) would from here on out become known as TYBTWD.

The dog, the son, and the unholy spirit.
Protectors of the Patch Panel
(These are thumbnails – click for the big picture.)

This is a patch panel for our phones and networks that hangs on the wall near my desk. As near as I can tell, the integrity of our network depends on the diligence of these three guys, and to be honest, lately they’ve been letting me down.

All hail the hot sauce.
Strange Picnic Ceremony
Our daughter Emily went through a phase where all of her arts and crafts involved gluing these multicolored plastic teddy bears to things.

Here are several that eventually fell off of the art hanging on my cubicle divider that have somehow formed a cult that is devoted to the worship of Tabasco. Hey, who can blame them? There are very few foodstuffs that can’t be improved immediately and dramatically with the application of either Tabasco or Lawry’s Seasoned Salt.

Also in this picture is the Hot Wheels car ‘Silhouette’ that I got when I sent away by mail for a dollar to join the Hot Wheels club when I was about 7 years old. (And my calculator always shows the ultimate answer.)

All fun, all the time.
Welcome to The Fun Zone
A few years ago, I shared a different office with a like-minded free-spirit, and I came up with the idea that we should call our little corner of reality ‘The Fun Zone’ and print up a welcome banner for people entering the area so’s they’d be awares, and she actually had me sketch it out, then took the sketch to a sign place up the street and had this banner made, which hangs in my office to this day.

It reads, ‘Now Entering the Fun Zone. No Admittance Without a Smile. “All Fun, All The Time”‘

I spec’d it with grommets on the corners so that you can actually string it up over an entrance.

My pictures.
The Picture Farm
It’s kind of hard to tell from these pictures, but I’ve got a bunch of pictures of my family propped up along the side of my desk, and up on the little bulletin board.

I’m obsessive about keeping them all neatly lined up, and they remind me of trees in an orchard or corn in a row, so I call this area my Picture Farm.

I like naming things.

Put yer feet up. Sit a spell.
Feet Up on Desk
My desk is really too high for my computer. After a few hours of sitting normally with my laptop up on the desk, my left elbow starts killing me, and I’ve got all kinds of compensating strategies involving palmrests and pillows and whatnot.

But since I’ve gone wireless, I’m actually kickin’ back in the big leather with my feet up where my elbow used to hurt and taking a bunch of flak, like, ‘Can I bring you a drink?’


Asparagus Pee's Coveted D'oh! AwardOne of the things that really bugs me is rules that aren’t helpful.

An example? OK, I’ve been screwed up more often by ‘i before e, except after c’ than I’ve been helped. It works great for ‘receive’ and ‘conceive,’ but ‘weird’ is a word that I need to write a lot, for instance, and it’s an exception that does not prove the rule.

Exhibit B: I have never even thought about bothering to learn that stupid non-rhyme about ’30 days hath,’ because all the months after August sound the same to me. I’d end up sitting around the whole frickin’ day going, ‘Let’s see now, Chris old bean, was that “30 days hath October, June and December,” or “September, March and November?”‘

Now, my 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Umpsheid, showed us a trick that actually works – you go across your knuckles and count them off, January, February, March, etc., and the alternating peaks and valleys match the pattern of the months.

But I could never remember if you go across and come back, or loop around and start over, so I’ve eventually managed to get it down that they just go long-short-long-short until you get to August. Turns out Augustus Caesar wanted his month to be just as glorious as Julius Caesar’s, so he declared that August has 31 days, just like July. Which begs the question, where’s power like that when you need it?

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