Those 800 Numbers on Everything

HOMER:Bacon up that sausage boy! BART:But Dad, my heart hurts.Having enjoyed several Reuben sandwiches recently, just to get a little variety in my diet I was making a sausageburger for lunch today. I use the 50% Less Fat product from Jimmy Dean, and I recommend it highly – it hardly shrinks or drips at all, and it tastes great. (Mmmm, snausages.)

So anyway, it’s always irked me a bit that they print those helpful tick-marks that show you where to cut the chub in just the right place so they’re hidden under the flap that’s created when they seal the tube. So I called the handy 800 number listed above the obscured marks labeled “For Questions and Comments,” and said, “Hi, I’d like to make a comment about this fine Jimmy Dean sausage product.”

“Yes sir, and what is that?”

“Well, see I actually use those little marks they print on the package every half-inch or so to decide where to cut the sausage, but you have to fold that little flap out of the way every time, and it’s kind of awkward to hold that while you’re slicing the chub.”

(Pause.)”Well sir, you do know that you could just cut it into half inch slices anyway, right?”

“No, you don’t get it. I called you just to tell you this bothers me, and I’d like for you to pass it along, please.”

“OK, um, thank’s for calling.”

It reminds me of the time I called the number on Lawry’s Seasoned Salt and asked them what the heck they were thinking when they took out the MSG. Maybe I should get Brian Lewandowski to write them a letter or something.

Seth’s Blog: The top 1,000 things to know

Seth Godin’s blog has a list of The top 1,000 things to know.

Actually, he only lists the top 20, but they’re pretty good. I saw this guy speak live at a gathering in New York a couple of years ago, and he was entertaining, but seemed to be talking a load of crap in areas where I’m actually knowledgeable. Nonetheless he has a lot of interesting ideas. (He’s the author of Unleashing the Idea Virus, one of the first new books to be given away free on-line as an e-book.)

Long-ass Emerson Quote

You can quote me on that.

“There are all degrees of proficiency of knowledge of the world. It is sufficient to our present purpose to indicate three. One class lives to the utility of the symbol, esteeming health and wealth a final good. Another class live above this mark to the beauty of the symbol, as the poet and artist and the naturalist and the man of science. A third class live above the beauty of the symbol to the beauty of the thing signified; these are wise men. The first class have common sense; the second, taste; and the third, spiritual perception. Once in a long time, a man traverses the whole scale, and sees and enjoys the symbol solidly, then also has a clear eye for its beauty, and lastly, whilst he pitches his tent on this sacred volcanic isle of nature, does not offer to build houses and barns thereon, reverencing the splendor of the God which he sees bursting through each chink and cranny.” &#151 Ralph Waldo Emerson, from the essay Prudence

That last “chink and cranny” reminds me of a part in Roald Dahl’s Big Friendly Giant, where the BFG tells the other giants they can search his place from “frack to bunt,” and “look in every crook and nanny.”

Dark Days – Survivor’s Over

I can’t believe it – The Lady Janet and I forgot to watch Survivor last night. But it looks like someone here at work either recorded it or Tivo’d it, so we’ll have a chance to see it, but DANG!,

I am, however, very pleased with the outcome, which you can see here: