I was never a big fan of the recently late Mitch Hedberg, but that was only because I’d never heard of him. There are some jokes over here that are really quite funny, and I highly recommend reading through all of them, but my favorites are probably:
I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.
I think Pringles’ initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said “Fuck it. Cut ’em up.”
My friend said to me, “You know what I like? Mashed potatoes.” I was like, “Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you’re going to quiz me you have to insert a pause.”