Asparagus pee, Gooblek & Other Neat stuff

This picture makes my brain feel good.

I think it would be really cool to be in a car crash where you got hit by a tow truck, ’cause, you know, you wouldn’t have to wait for a tow truck.

Happy New Year! Later…

This is a listening exercise and a bonus question for the four people I sent free copies of Elliott Smith’s CD From a Basement on the Hill, but anyone is welcome to play. Can you make anything out of the background vocal around about the time in King’s Crossing where he sings, “Give me one good reason not to do it.”? I think I know.

There’s an article over on the New Scientist website about a new calendar system that keeps the same days on the same dates, but it looks completely useless to me, as it requires arbitrary decisions about lengths of months, and also requires an “extra week – which is not part of any month – about every 5 or 6 years.” Huh?

I have long been an advocate of a lunar based system of 13 months of 28 days each, which comes out to 364 days, so every year would have a leap day, plus the standard “every four years unless the date is divisible by 400” leap years. The beauty of my system is that every month is the same, and every month is exactly 4 weeks. It’s so elegant that all I can think of is they liked 12 a whole lot better than 13 for superstitious reasons. I would also name the months “First,” “Second,” “Third,” and so on, so that you’d never have to do that awkward “August is the 8th month” conversion.

I’m sorry I’m just linking to Excite News today, but I honestly can’t decide which of these two “news” items disturbs me the most, Old Elvis Water worth $455? or Court Backs Firing of Waitress without Makeup.

According to Excite News, Jeopardy’s created a tool for bringing back Ken Jennings… go figure.

I’d like to be petty here, but I believe the man’s efforts here are sincere: Bush Announces Coalition to Aid Asia.

According to my handy-dandy referral logs, someone got here recently by Googling “is there no help for widows son”. OK, I went over here to see what a “google whack” was in technical terms, and this doesn’t qualify, but it’s always cool to click on a search link in your own referral logs and see only your own page listed.)

Parkway Rest Stop accidentally noticed me and blogged about Asparagus Pee, so being in the holiday spirit, here’s a reciprocal link.

Having enjoyed several Reuben sandwiches recently, just to get a little variety in my diet I was making a sausageburger for lunch today. I use the 50% Less Fat product from Jimmy Dean, and I recommend it highly – it hardly shrinks or drips at all, and it tastes great. (Mmmm, snausages.)

So anyway, it’s always irked me a bit that they print those helpful tick-marks that show you where to cut the chub in just the right place so they’re hidden under the flap that’s created when they seal the tube. So I called the handy 800 number listed above the obscured marks labeled “For Questions and Comments,” and said, “Hi, I’d like to make a comment about this fine Jimmy Dean sausage product.”

“Yes sir, and what is that?”

“Well, see I actually use those little marks they print on the package every half-inch or so to decide where to cut the sausage, but you have to fold that little flap out of the way every time, and it’s kind of awkward to hold that while you’re slicing the chub.”

(Pause.)”Well sir, you do know that you could just cut it into half inch slices anyway, right?”

“No, you don’t get it. I called you just to tell you this bothers me, and I’d like for you to pass it along, please.”

“OK, um, thank’s for calling.”

It reminds me of the time I called the number on Lawry’s Seasoned Salt and asked them what the heck they were thinking when they took out the MSG. Maybe I should get Brian Lewandowski to write them a letter or something.