Did you ever see those episodes of Star Trek The Next Generation where Broccoli, I mean, Lieutenant Reginald Barclay, is addicted to the holodeck, preferring to spend time there to his real life aboard the Enterprise?

Well I think I’m having the same problem with the Internet. I also feel like that other episode (Nth Degree) where a benevolent patriarchal superbeing gives him super-intelligence so he can wire himself into the computer through the holodeck and bring the Enterprise round to his ‘hood at the center of the universe for a quick look-see. My mind is going a mile-a-minute, picking up clues and making connections, and fighting the urge to follow those curiosity threads out through Google is beginning to sap my superpowers.

Luckily, I just found out via e-mail this morning that I’ll be a rich, skinny, well-hung winner with no debt, a new house, a free car, 50 lbs. of lobster, killer steak-knives, and a hoard of cheap DVDs before you know it!