Clean & Quiet.SMUD (Sacramento Metropolitan Utility District) had an offer to trade in your gas powered lawnmower for a rechargeable electric one that they advertised in the paper about a month ago – you bring them your old mower, and they give you a $469 mower for $225.

I clipped this and carried it around for almost a month. Bad news, though. I got fooled by my watch into thinking that yesterday was April 31 (I’m kinda dumb about some [arbitrary] stuff, you see), so I missed the boat, though I did figure out what’s what in time to post the announcement below. Any-who, here’s the scoop on trading up to a clean, quiet mower this year:

Mow Down Pollution 2003: All 600 of the electric mowers we had available for trade were claimed within the first hour on a first-come, first-served basis. No further registrations will be accepted. Thank you for your interest in the Mow Down!

Isn’t that great!? (I’m serious – I love that it only takes an hour for good people in SMUD’s service area to try to do the right thing.)

On the other hand, if they had the option to get more than 600 from Black & Decker, here are some interesting stats:

SMUD services 1.2 Million people in a 900 square mile area, and Auburn isn’t even serviced by SMUD, so why have they made me think and talk about this for the last month?

Well, wouldn't you?In 1995, the folks at Good Vibrations in San Francisco declared that henceforth, May is National Masturbation Month, and we here at Asparagus Pee salute them. That’s all I’m going to say, but we’re hoping that each of you will do your part. Click the pic to go to Good Vibrations’ site for more information.