Well, gosh, I thought I was writing something to try to explain to myself how I feel in my mid-life crisis, or tell my wife what was going on in my head or something, but it got pretty weird pretty fast, and it’s not very personal, so I’ve decided to share it. Turn away.

What’s On My Mind

I’m looking for some way to let you know what’s going on in here.

It is my only intention to type freely. I have little idea what I’m about to write. I do know that I want to express some things that I’m feeling and thinking about lately. Here we go…

I’ve toyed with the idea of doing a sort of “here’s what I think about moment by moment as I go through my day, from the moment I first wake up until I go to bed,” and I think that could make for a really powerful presentation of my stream of consciousness.

I’ve also toyed with the idea of just typing a true stream of consciousness, but right now, that feels almost like what I’m doing!

I’ve also also toyed with doing a running, fictional, allegorical narrative.

I’ve also also also toyed with the idea of doing a topical outline and just saying, in effect, “here’s what I’m thinking right now about pets in the household.”

What do you think? Hey, here’s an idea… let’s try a little of each!

Waking Up:

It’s 2:30 am. I don’t feel so hot. What time did I go to bed???

Oh, that’s just the cat. Should I feed her? What time is it? Oh, yeah, right… 2:30. I don’t think that’s a good time to feed a cat. Sure don’t want to train her to expect that!

OK. (Clears throat.) Do I need to pee? No. (Thank God!)

…sounds of snoring…

It’s 4:30 am. I don’t feel so hot. I think I went to bed around 1:15?

Oh, that’s just the cat again. Should I feed her? What time is it? Oh, yeah, right…4:30. Thinks angrily: Think again, “furball.” (I typically put this into mental quotes now because of that Berenstain Bears episode where they pretend it’s a dirty word.)

…sounds of snoring…

(Boy, this gets boring pretty quickly. Let’s try device #2…)

True Stream of Consciousness:

I’m typing. No, wait, I need to pretend I’m in the past or something. Still typing. I’m clever.


Really liked that last one. No one knows what I’m typing or talking about, but what the fuck do I care anyway? Insects. Of course, I don’t really feel that way, but I’m typing whatever the hell comes into my head, and BOOM!, there you have it. I don’t recommend this. (technique) (or overusing parenthetical statements [I started to type “parentheses” {I dug correcting my plural of parentheses to have the ‘es’ on the end… GOD I’M SMART!}])

Boy, that goes quickly, but I’m sure it’s a lot more boring to read.

(And I’ve really enjoyed doing italics in reverse and nested parentheses to make all that syntax work.)

Fictional Allegory:

Once upon a time, there was a little boy whose parents told him he could do whatever he wanted with his life.

The boy loved and trusted his parents, and up to that point, he’d gotten pretty much everything he’d ever wanted, so the boy believed it.

He decided that he would be a scientist, an astronaut, a philosopher, an author, an artist, a photographer, a composer, a chef, a mechanic, a poet, a programmer, a gardener, a father, and a lover all rolled into one. (This turned out to be too much work, so he became an alcoholic.)

(D’oh! That damned stream of consciousness is creeping back in. Gonna have to watch that!)


1.The Hot Tub.

a) I really like having a working hot tub.
b) It has a leak.
c) I have the part.
d) I need to install the part.
e) If it doesn’t leak, we need to make time for family hot tubbing.
f) If it still leaks, then what?
g) I’d love to build a solar heating panel on the roof of the garage.
h) Either that or go to 220V or gas. (Is it worth it?)

2. The Garden

a) I like dirt.
b) I like compost.
c) I like seeds.
d) I love plants.
e) I love flowers
f) Gardens are a lot of work.
g) Our garden doesn’t perform very well.
h) I want fresh tomatoes and peppers and onions and cilantro for salsa.
i) I eat a lot of salsa.
j) I like salsa.
k) The garden space conflicts with the vision for the new play structure.

Etc., etc., etc., ad infinitum… God! Is life really this boring?